Running Silence

Got Stress?

2010-05-30T14:47:00.000-07:00

Apparently I do...at least according to my hubs. I haven't been around this blog for some time now, but perhaps it is time to revisit the reasons behind why I actually started it in the first place.

I will admit that when the hubs asked me "have you thought about running again?" I was a little unhappy with the question. My first thought immediately went to "Why, do you think I'm fat?" but even before the words left my mouth, I already had my answer. No - he was not trying to subtly tell me that he thought I needed to get out and lose some weight, but infact he was pointing out a fact that I had debated previously. Running seemed to ease some type of stress for me.

It helped keep me centered, it helped me find patience when dealing with lifes up's and downs, it helped me ... find me when I was searching for something so desperately to hold on to. I found a race and I ran it and then I felt defeat because it was never really about the race. It was about finding something more and at the end of the race ... there was only a finish line.

I walked away and while I've found meaning in my life that has taken much of my time, along with this has come much stress. I admit the running I did was a high somedays and others I struggled thru my demons. Perhaps, I should take a step back into this world I gave up on so easily and find my stride once again.

drum roll.....

2008-12-05T12:26:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is the big day! It is finally here and it's set to be a perfect day to run.

It's been a good week and I am excited...picked up my race packet, visited the expo (a bit disappointed) and will be getting everything ready for an early start tomorrow.

It should be a little chilly at the start(expected 38 degrees) but warming up by the finish - high about 50.

So if your in the Memphis Area and see a blonde girl dressed in pink (amongst the crowd of 14,000) wave and I'll wave back!

The Wall

2008-10-15T07:13:00.000-07:00

4am - the beep beep beep beacons me to get out of bed, but I do not move. 15 miles is my plan, but my head is not in it. 15 miles is on the schedule, but my heart is not in it so I steel a few more hours promising to do it when the sun comes up.

8am - 4 more hours have passed and neither my head nor my heart are any closer to being in it, but I know I must. "It is only 15 miles" I tell myself, "You can do this" I try to convince myself. I lace up my shoes, strap on my heart monitor and grab the iPod, certain some tunes will help drown out the thoughts of negativity, but it is dead.

Shit! How can I run without my music? I'm struggling now and I haven't even left...will I be able to make it? I decide to go - I'm tough. I'm hard core. I don't need sissy music to motivate me - I am a runner!

Mile one passes and I want to turn back. Thoughts keep swirling thru my head, the sound of my breathing is not a wanted distraction...it just makes me tired. Each step I take I hear it closing the distance between us and yet there is nothing I can do to out run it.

I keep moving forward and pray I find my groove soon, miles 2 and 3 tick by and I think 'only 12 more to go' but that is no comfort. My heart is beating fast and I cannot catch my breath, sweat is building on my brow. I hear it call my name but I cannot stop for fear it will catch me.

"Keep going" I command of my feet "Just keep moving and it will be over soon."

The sun is shining brightly - a beautiful day for a run. A cool breeze rustling the leaves above my head, a playful squirrel bouncing between the trees and the sound of my feet hitting the pavement, but none of this can out do the dark and clammy feeling it brings. Miles 4 and 5 and 6 are a stretch and finally I come face to face with it - the demon that chases me...

The Wall.

I find myself facing that moment where I quite and give in, go home, give up or I struggle to finish because I want to. Drive - Desire - Dedication to complete what I started are on the other side of it and right now I don't know how to get past it. Tears sting my eyes because I feel I'm defeated but not yet ready to accept this as the final outcome - so I walk.

I walk and walk. I watch the seconds tick by and the minutes add up until I can again move my feet faster. I've done this before - why not today? I wrestle with this thought internally. I fight the desire to quit with my will to finish.

I think.
And Think.
And Think some more.

I realize that as runners, we all face this sometime. Despite what I've done in the past - today is different. I can come up with all kinds of reasons why - I'm tired, my foot hurts, my head hurts, I'm not well hydrated, I'm PMSing - but they are just excuses and there are too many too count. No one is there to stop me from quiting, no one but the wall in my head and I decide that I will not let it dictate my finish.

My run time that day might not have been anything to brag about, infact its more like something to bury deep in the recesses of my training log, but I finished. I know it's not the last day I will face the wall, but that day I managed to out run it and am stronger for it.

Just Running

2008-09-30T12:22:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I posted here. I haven't stopped training, but do you ever have one of those moments during your training when it all becomes so routine that it starts to seem a bit too mundane to post about?

For me, at least, that is how I feel. I can read other runners blogs and laugh at their witty insights or their profound knowledge into what makes a runner tick, but when I run I just kind of exist. There are rarely funny moments for me to share, it's not very often that I have some type of mental break thru where the world (or my world at least) makes sense and so I feel like when I come here it's always the same old story.

I came.

I saw.

I ran.

I am still in training.

Running is an escape for me. Not in a bad way, but it is a few minutes (or hours) to just be who ever I aspire to be. No one asking me for anything or limiting my ability to achieve anything because of bureaucratic red tape...nothing standing in my way except for myself.

In an essence - it is a moment of pure joy and fear all rolled up into one. Possibilities are endless, limits are met only when the body says it's "had enough" and dreams never fail to be big. During a run I can do almost anything - and I feel great. Give it a chance and that string of hope I hold on to will turn into the rope that I use to hang myself when the day arrives to face the marathon head on and I fail to obtain what I set out to achieve. It's that paralyzing fear that sets in when my runners high wears off.

So what do I do? Do I come here and repeat day in and day out...I run therefore I am? Do I tell you my fears and hope that secretly I am not alone in this or do I do nothing? Perhaps I will do all three - most likely this will be my outcome, but for now...I'm going to just run.

What will you do?

Can't Keep Me Down

2008-09-10T08:30:00.001-07:00

***Cross posted at CafeKel***

I've been training for the St. Jude Marathon and this past weekend I had a realization...I found a small crack in my plan for 'marathon domination' hehe

It's disheartening to wake up one day and realize my plan is flawed.

This past weekend I was supposed to run a 20mi long run - I get up and meet my running partner at o' dark thirty and away we go. It was a nice run, cool and not too humid, conversation flowed easily and the pace was comfortable. Nothing too out of the ordinary. 12 miles later(yes I shortened the run some), I get back to my car and realize me feet hurt, one more than the other. I don't think much about it - my feet are usually tired after a run. By the time I get home though (after a stop at the store for groceries) my left foot is really hurting, so I ask the hub about it.

Who better to ask than the man who is supposed to care so much about me (and the fact that he trained hard and has a degree in kinesiology doesn't hurt either) this man proceeds to tell me, something is hurt. GREAT - not what I wanted to hear, but I'm sure it's minor, nothing to worry about, we ice it and go on about the day. Monday comes and I head to practice, I run an easy 6 miles, my foot hurts still, but I manage thru the pain. Once again, I complain to the hub and as we ice it, he convinces me to visit the dr.

This is one of the joys of having a dr. at my disposal because all I have to do is call, make an appointment and I'm in. For minor issues, dr. appointments are a breeze - if its anything major...trust me, the government is going to run you thru the loops before they treat you outside their facility.

For me, I call, make an appointment, show up 24 hrs later, get x-rays and wait for the dr. to look at them. In all of 30 min the dr tells me that 'while he cannot see any problems NOW, that does not mean there are not stress problems waiting and I should stay off it for 3 weeks.'

HAHAHA

Are you serious? It's just a foot and if my x-ray says I'm good, then obviously I must be good, I think the dr. is crazy and decide I am going to play it by ear.

All this is fine except for that brief moment, while I was sitting there waiting for him to come tell me about the x-ray, I thought there might be something wrong that would get in the way of achieving this goal and I was sad. Just for a brief moment I saw what I wanted go up in smoke and it was hard to think I wouldn't see it come to fruition. I, however, was lucky enough that there was nothing major wrong, but not everyone is.

Life is just as random as an injury...one moment we are cruising along with our eye on the prize when something jumps out and derails us. It is easy for me to become so narrow sighted that I don't see anything else around...perhaps this was my wake up call to say "Hey - I'm still here, remember me? LIFE? Go for the goal, but don't forget, it can all change in the blink of an eye." For a brief moment, I was superhuman and nothing could stop me then just as quickly, I was a mere human who had limits.

I can't say I'm ready to be human yet...I still kind of like the sound of SuperKel...does anyone have that taken yet?

What battles do you fight when aspiring to be superhuman?

Getting back on track

2008-09-08T12:12:00.000-07:00

Without jinxing it, I'm going to say I think my running funk is on it's way out the door. I won't say it is completely gone yet (I still think twice about going out for a run) but I am proud to announce that I did get all 3 runs in last week.

YIPPY!!

That's right - I ran on Tuesday (7mi) Thursday (8mi) and again on Sunday (12mi). I cannot however take full credit for these runs since the hub did push me out the door on 2 of the 3, AND technically I was supposed to be doing 20 on Sunday, but my running partner only needed 12 and I didn't feel like finishing up by myself, so instead I went grocery shopping on my way home.

I know, bad me...I do think this was probably a good thing since I did have to get up at 3:30am Sunday morning, so I could make it across town for a 4:30 run start (hehe..see I am hard core runner woman...hear me roar!!!) Problem was when I got home, I noticed my left foot was really hurting.

I thought it might just be because I had gone running and I was tired, but the more I walked on it, the more the bones in my foot actually hurt. So here I was, complaining to the hub about my poor foot discussing shoes when he decided I need to ice my foot. For the next hour I alternated my feet from ice to hot water and I must admit, he was right, it felt better. (It's just one of the things I love about him...other times it's utterly annoying when he's right about these things).

So, now I'm not sure what to think about this foot thing. My shoes are not that old (bought them in July) but after looking at them I am pretty sure these are built for sprinters and probably not so much longer distances. I'm thinking I will stop by Foot locker tonight on my way to my evening run and pick up a new pair of shoes to see how they work out. I am guessing it is about time for a new pair so they will time just right in the 'break in cycle' for my marathon rather than be on the 'worn out' end by the time I get there.

So, Happy Monday...I know I promised a Garmin review (it's still coming)...stay tuned to see if I get my new shoes or not...

Wine-O in the Slacker Department

2008-09-03T12:10:00.000-07:00

Yes, I realize it has been a very long time since I posted here. Yes, I also realize this blog is supposed to follow my training on my marathon....which is why I've been a bit absent.

*hangs head in shame*

I've been a slacker. There I said it. I'm not entirely sure how it happened but I'm betting it has something to do with a bottle of wine and a really crappy week at work.

All was going relatively well - not drinking, training, eating right was all coming along great. A few weeks ago I ran the longest distance to date (20 mi) and was feeling pretty motivated when it call kind of blew up around me. I woke up one day, went to work - had one of the crappiest days ever and I decided to forgo running (feeling confident that tomorrow would be better.) The next day was much the same and the next and the next. Then my husband (the wonderful man that he is) came home with a few (ok, more like 8) bottles of wine and boy, did it sound good when he offered me a glass. Sad to say...but it was all down hill from that point on.

The weekend rolled around and my long run was prolonged because I decided to drink and stay up late (20mi was not appealing at 4am.) The following week - I found more excuses not to go run despite my new gadget (Garmin Forerunner 305). I did manage to break out of my funk long enough to run 2 (yes, I said a measly 2 miles) and test this little bad boy out - but then it lay dormant once again. Next thing I knew the weekend was upon me, it was a holiday and I slacked off again for some more wine.

Excuses, excuses, excuses.

Monday should have been a running day - it wasn't.

Tuesday - the hub decided to put an end to my slacking and demanded I go out and run 10mi. Ok...I will - I said to him, but 20 minutes later I had not left. I was putting dinner together, working homework with my oldest and just simply busy. Once again he said "YOU NEED TO GO RUN" and this time he did not stop until I gave in.

Run - well I went out for a run and I ended up doing 3.5 miles before I was hot and thirsty and when I came home for a quick drink I decided I rather liked being in the comfort of my AC. He took one look at my new 'tracking device' and said..."You need to go back out and keep running."

But..But...but...

I knew he was right, but I didn't want to. After some more chiding about 'how much progress I was losing by not running - I went back out for another 3.5 mi. I'm hoping it is enough to break me out of my funk - I only have 12 weeks until my marathon and I can't really afford to slack. So I will be better at posting AND training.

Oh yeah, stay tuned I've got a review coming of my new toy - I am very excited about this gadget (even though I am still testing all the features!)

Anyone else find that running funk? How did you break out of it?

J. Lo Rant

2008-08-19T10:39:00.001-07:00

Warning!!!! Nothing useful below this line...only my personal opinions and rantings

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Begin Rant

Ok, so I might not be the biggest Olympics fan out there, but come on!

Have you seen the article that touts J.LO as a triathlete?

My hat goes off to anyone who wants to compete in an endeavor such as a triathlon, marathon, or even a 5K if this is not typically your thing, but to think that just because your a celebrate does not mean that you should be considered "special" because you want to challenge yourself, nor does this mean you are of AMAZING athletic talent because you are going to do a triathlon shortly after giving birth.

AGH!!! She is such a diva.

You know, I remember when Katie Holmes ran the marathon and you know, she didn't boast about it during her training...seriously, if you want to run/train or whatever to raise money then fine...but don't act like you should be the focus just because you have a name!

***********************************
End Rant

One piece at a time

2008-08-18T08:34:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I posted here - I'm going to blame the hub and the olympics. hehe

I know, not running to watch the olympics = not an excuse, but it is not entirely true...the hub went out of town for a week at which I was left with the girls until he got back. I must admit, it was nice taking a break, but at the same time thinking just how bad this would hurt my training.

Anyhow, the hub returned Late last Monday evening and so I returned to my previous training schedule on Thursday. It was rather an easy return because we were having a cookout/social fest after our workout. I did 4 sets of hills and then enjoyed some good conversation. Running while smelling the grill going...not fun. Running while knowing it will be waiting for you at the end...lots of fun.

So Saturday rolls around and I am switching up a week to make up for the previous weeks lack of running - ere go 16 miles scheduled for saturday morning. I head out early and join the group and we start to run. It isn't bad, it's cool and drizzily(5am) and we are slowly getting into the groove of it when half the group decides to head back and meet up with the other group while the rest of us continue on with our long run.

There is a mixed group of runners all about a 19-24 mile range...myself the shortest at 16. We keep running and at about 12 decide to focus on how we would end up at 19 back where we needed to be and where I should break off from the group. I volunteer to go the extra miles (seriously how hard can a few more be when I've got to go 16?) HA

I was delusional...at mile 17 I think I'm crazy, at 18 I know I'm crazy and at 19 I'm beyond crazy...but we over shot it a bit and by the time all was said and done I had completed 20. Now, I know it is no 26.2 (and my day will come for that one) but it is such a feeling knowing that I did it. As you can tell ... this is my longest run to date and knowing I can go this far makes 26.2 seem pretty tiny. I know, I know...the extra 6.2 added on top will probably send me over the edge, but hey - what would life be like if we didn't challenge ourselves?

Facing The 26.2 Dragon

2008-08-07T06:35:00.000-07:00

Every so often I mention the St. Jude Marathon I am going to run on December 6. (notice I said "GOING TO RUN" - positive affirmations)For the past 6 months or so I've been running in an effort to build up mileage and strength so that I can complete the 26.2 mile race without injury. In this process I have gotten a trainer to help with the preparation for the race because I have never done this before. Yesterday - he finally sent out the specific training schedules for the race and I have to admit that I was a little shocked and then a little frightened by what I received.

For some of you, the mere idea of ever running 26.2 miles for FUN - is delusional. I too used to be of this mindset. I usually joke my kids drove me to this point, but the truth is I enjoy running (most days.) When I first started training (8 weeks after my daughter was born) Walking 2 miles was hard, running 4 miles seemed difficult and 26.2 that was beyond psychotic at the time. Eventually, 2 miles turned into 4 which has turned into 10 and sometimes 12 miles. Running 6 is an easy thing now.

What's the problem?

Well, when I was reviewing the training schedule I noticed the 20 & 24 mile runs on there over the next few months and honestly, those numbers seem, well...a little frightening. I've been saying these numbers for a while now - telling myself "sure, whats a few more miles than what you've already been doing." Truth is, seeing them in black and white is a whole new ball game. Regardless of what I thought before, they seem to be looming ahead in all their massive glory.

I'm sure, much of it is still in my head and once I face this dragon it will seem much smaller than I imagined...it's just the getting there that is the hard part.

Have you ever wanted to do something only to find when you are facing it head on, it's more frightening than you imagined?

Early Bird gets the worm

2008-07-26T16:41:00.000-07:00

Or in my case, a nice long run complete with sore feet from hell! :)

Yes, you read it right, I actually got out of bed early enough to make it across town for a long group fun. I was seriously contemplating going with the group that was headed out at 5am, but that would entail leaving my house at 4am and well, that just wasn't happening. I did make it to the 6 o'clock run though.

It was my first run with the group and I'm happy to say I did not die...actually I ran 1/1 instead of the normal 2/1 I run when I am running at home and had no issues keeping the pace. I got a 9 mi run in today and I'm feeling pretty good about it. I'm a little tired, but that is ok.

Actually I thought it was a great way to start the day. I got the run in and then I came home, destressed, painted my kitchen, juggled my 3 kids AND made some fresh salsa for my dinner. (Ok, so chips and salsa is not the healthiest dinner, but its what I have been craving)

All in all, its been a great end to a pretty good week. Hope yours ended with a bang!

Wanting

2008-07-24T19:12:00.001-07:00

I posted earlier about being a heat sissy, which most of the time I feel like. The heat is stifling most days and I feel like I am choking on the air, but even with all of this I want to do it.

Does that sound strange?

I want to run. I want to be there. I want to push myself beyond my limits. I want to break free of my self imposed stipulations that say I cannot do this...I could never do this.

I feel that what I am doing now is nothing great...but I do have the belief that it will get me to where I want to be. No, I doubt I will be in the top 10 finishers (lofty goals for a 1st timer) but I can't help but dream the big dream when it comes to this marathon. Maybe it is because I am a first timer that I have so much hope...who knows.

I know that after a night like tonight where I ran 6 miles of hills...my feet are sore and my legs are tired. I was hot and covered in sweat. At the end of it I felt good though...I felt like I had accomplished what I set out to do and oddly enough - I am looking forward to Saturday.

Until then...happy trails to you!

Heat Sissy

2008-07-21T11:35:00.000-07:00

In the words of Mark Higginbotham

Don't you be lame or iffy lest you become a heat sissy!

...in reference to the southern heat and training.

Fuel for running

2008-07-18T08:57:00.000-07:00

It's friday, which means I should have run hills last night - BUT - I did not. Actually, I had a wonderful date night with the hub at which I showcased my 'sexy running' calves by wearing (and dancing in) my super cute, super cool heels! (I know this is about running, not awesome chick shoes!)

Anyhow, the problem with date night was that it was on my scheduled running night so I decided in advance to run on Wednesday instead. I got all ready to go and realized the hub had errands and would be gone for a few hours.

I waited.

I waited some more.

I fed the kids, skipped dinner, and waited.

Eventually he came home, but I was already aggrevated = stressed so I headed out the door to run at 8pm. It was getting dark...I don't usually run in the dark and the hub was a little curious as to why I was running. All I knew was that I needed to get away and run...run until I felt better.

So, I ran.

I didn't venture very far, I ran in my neighborhood around this little path of houses. It's about a mile and a half for the whole loop, I am not very far from home and can do it for as long or short as I want. My point (to this long story) is that I was stressed when I left and I ran, ran, ran, ran some more until it was all gone. It was like someone had charged up the batteries completely and I just felt like I could go forever.

I only ran about 6 miles because it was getting late and dark and the hub already thought I was crazy, but still...

Do certain things motivate your runs more than others?

The road goes on forever...

2008-07-15T07:13:00.000-07:00

"...and the party never ends." Another set of lyrics to a Robert Earl Keen song (way back when) - but in the spirit of music this week, it sums up the start of training.

Many of you (myself included) train day in and day out to prepare for something. Some it's a marathon, some it's a triathalon, some it's just getting back to the basics of running...but either way, it is a continuous process.

Yesterday was Monday training session and true to form, when it was time to change clothes and head to the running site, I did not want to go. Remember, I had done a long run the day before and I could feel the soreness setting in, the heat from the day, my desire to crawl in bed (because my children are getting sick which makes for long nights) and blah blah blah. Anyhow, I went anyway (because that is what a good runner does) HA - and I actually enjoyed being there. It really helped ease some of my soreness and I'm feeling much better today.

I was tired afterwards, I'm tired today - but I will still be swimming after work. I might not want to, but as the song says...

The road goes on forever and the party never ends!

Back to Life...

2008-07-14T06:36:00.000-07:00

"...Back to reality" are the words to a song originally released in 1989. These are the words that kept playing in my head as I headed out for a long run yesterday.

back to life back, to the present time
back from a fantasy

I had basically taken 2 weeks off from running, I had take one week off from pretty much everything (and played catch up with my alcohol consumption) and then I came back and started swimming but still no running. So starting out yesterday I had high hopes...yep, but it was short lived!

My first 15 minutes I felt refreshed and good. It's always hot and humid here, but yesterday was cloudy and on the verge of raining (it was sprinkling) and I thought it was a great time to run. I was starting to believe my time off had done me good when all of the sudden my brain kicked into overdrive and tried to convince me I was tired and sore and hot and blah, blah, blah.
That's right, 15 minutes into a LONG run, I began to think I didn't really want to do this and really just wanted to go back home.

I knew that if I could just get past this stage, it would get easier (it always does) problem is - I have to get there first! So what did I do to overcome this?? Hum...well...I talked to myself. I know this sounds retarded (you don't have to tell me that) but it worked. For the next 45 minutes I would remind myself (out loud so I could hear it) that I wanted this, I could do it, it didn't really hurt - it was all in my head. I went on and on (in 45 minutes you can get pretty creative.) Anyhow...it worked and I got thru it and was good to go for the next hour.

On a side note - yesterday I tried some 'tri-berry gu' - interesting stuff. I liked the way it made me feel, energy wise, however the taste, well, not so great. I'd squeeze it in my mouth and then choke it down with a drink of water. It's very GU'ish...thick and strange, kind of reminds me of GlUe...haha. I like the portability of it and like I mentioned - it does give me the additional boost when taking long runs so I won't complain too loudly. I just wish some of this energy stuff tasted better!

Does anybody have recommendations for energy products that have worked for them?

Official Marathon

2008-07-10T17:18:00.000-07:00

I'm back!! I'd like to finish the sentence with "better than ever" but the truth is it's more like "slacker is me."

I had a wonderful time on vacation - I didn't do any runs and yes, I missed it. I was going to pack my running shoes, but decided I would leave them here to save space. A few days into my trip, however had me standing at the shoe store looking for a pair of running shoes. I looked and looked, but did not buy. I passed them over in favor of my well worn, already broken in ones at home and decided I would take a walk instead.

Walk, I did. Lots of it as well as swim, so I wasn't a complete sloth, just a partial one. I've been back home now for a few days and I have been swimming in the afternoon after work. I try to squeeze in 30-45 minutes of laps (I'm working my way up to an hour+) before I pick up the kids, it's been working ok except I feel VERY tired afterward. I mean, by the time I've worked an 8hr day, gone swimming for 30 min, picked up the kids, cooked dinner and gotten everybody settled for the evening all I want to do is grab a pillow and snooze away. I guess in my own way I am already in a marathon! HA

Anyhow, I thought I would go ahead and mention it is official. I have been half commited but as of today, I'm 100% in. A while back, I made the decision to run a marathon. Ok, not just run a marathon, but run the St. Jude Marathon held in Memphis in December. This has been my goal I've been planning for and training for. I've mentally challenged myself and physically been preparing. The problem?? Well, I hadn't committed, I hadn't officially registered for it - even though I had planned to, nothing was official.

Today it is. I guess part of me held onto the idea I would get hurt or maybe even I wouldn't go thru with it, but nah...I've paid my entry fee and I've signed on the dotted line and now I'm on the roster. Yep, it's official. On December 6, 2008 - I will run (notice I did not say attempt) my very first marathon. I may be worse off by the time I get to the finish line, but I will make it to the finish line...eventually!

Nothing like putting it all out there to hold myself accountable huh?!

Vacation

2008-07-01T18:53:00.001-07:00

Thought I would drop a line to let you guys know that I am taking a few days off for vacation!

YAY!!

I talked it over with my coach and he said to just take it easy which means I won't be doing any 'real' runs this week. I've got mixed emotions about this. While I don't plan on planting my butt on the couch the entire time, I am terrified I will loose some of the ground I've made thus far. He has assured me it will be fine so I am willing to take his advice (it's been pretty sound thus far.)

So I will be back next week with regular updates as to how my training is going...we'll also see how taking a week off affects my overall feelings.

Hope everyone else has a great week!

Bear Naked Training

2008-06-27T12:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was hills...once again a Thursday hill run. This week we were going to extend the distance a bit, but I think most of us got started a bit earlier than when the coach got there so we've put it off. I was glad - not because I didn't want to run, but more because the heat was out yesterday (more so than the past weeks.)

Anyhow, I ran, I sweated, I ran some more and got thru it. After my relatively easy first one I thought for sure I could keep going, however by the time I got to my 3rd set I was starting to feel it and the heat was getting to me. I did manage to do 4 sets (did 5 last week) but all in all I was feeling pretty good.

Imagine my surprise when I got home and sitting in my inbox was an application to join the Bear Naked Team. I mean I was feeling pretty good and thinking I was making strides, but seriously...ready for the big time?!

HA

The heat must have really played games with my head - the application is for anyone interested in applying for the team, they just sent it out to active users. It kind of burst my bubble when my other more 'functioning' brain cells kicked into high gear, but after reading the info I thought I would share. It sounds like a pretty interesting organization.

So if this sounds like something that might interest any of you, dear readers, I encourage you to fill out the application form. Seriously, what have you got to lose??

Running vs. Slumping

2008-06-24T08:52:00.000-07:00

I don't know what happened to me, but I feel like I've fallen into a hole or rather 'slumped' over and don't want to run much. I'm not sure why, the weather has been rather nice and I was feeling pretty good prior to this, but all the sudden my running is just not fun right now.

Sad really.

Yesterday was monday training and even though I went, I did not want to go. I spent the entire day having a silent battle with myself

- You really should go...
- No, I don't want to go, maybe I can get sick
- You're such a faker...why pretend to be sick no one cares
- I know, but I'm tired, I just want to watch tv

(no, I'm not completely crazy, just sound like it when I put it out here) hehe

I get into these ruts, I eventually get out, it's the time in between that is so hard. The bad part about all this is the fact that I am going on vacation in about a week and don't want to train that week, so I really should be running this week.

Why is it so hard to run during the summer??

Breath in...

2008-06-20T07:38:00.000-07:00

... breath out. That's the way we go, round and round again.

This week has been an exceptional week as far as weather is concerned. Both Monday and last night were much cooler than the previous weeks and I've found it easier to run longer distances. (It is possible that because I've up'd my running distance and actually have been doing it more consistently this could be a factor, but nah..I'm betting on the weather.)

Anyhow, yesterday was hills. The ever so tiring hills. A few weeks ago I started running said hills and found the few reps I did not quite so exhausting - now I've started running the longer sets and doing more reps...I am definitely tired afterward, but I digress.

When I started running yesterday I could feel the tension in my shoulders and upper back. It felt like I needed to pop my back and I was trying to do some stretches during my warm up to target this area. Not much helped (been a stressful week). I noticed as I ran that each breath I took seemed to be centered in my chest which would point out the tightness in my upper back. This got me to thinking. (ah ha...she does have a point to this story)

During our Monday workouts, Mark, has us do a warm up exercise that concentrates on breathing...specifically breathing from our diaphragm and not our chest. We put one hand on our chest and one on our stomach and breath - which one moves? If the stomach expands, you are breathing from your diaphragm, if not then you are breathing from the chest and not getting the full amount of oxygen.

I spent a good amount of my running focusing on this...breath in with my diaphragm - eventually it became second thought and I was able to do so without dedicated thought. What I noticed during this is that my breathing became more controlled and I could run better. By better I mean I didn't pant like a dog with short choppy breaths when I ran up the hills.

I wonder if this is something I've always done or if perhaps it is something that I've become accustomed to over time?

Group Running

2008-06-17T07:04:00.000-07:00

Typically mondays are group running days and I like to post about the heat (gawd - is it hot here) or the rain (yes, it teased me yesterday during the early part of the workout only to leave me with more humidity than needed) but during the runs yesterday I noticed something.

You see, we had about 5 new people join the group and while Mark was spending time with them going over the techniques and form and other stuff I ran with a couple different groups of people. I've been coming to the group for a little over a month and like any group, there are people of all different speeds and they tend to group up, because of the good ol' south heat and humidity most conversations tend to gear towards the weather. Yesterday however, there were quite a few conversations about people dislike of running, or rather their dislike of running alone.

I have to say that this is a lot of the reason I started running with a group in the first place, so I like everyone else, like running with a group. What I think is odd is that running is really an individual sport. Rarely are there two people who run at exactly the same speed, usually one is pushing the other to be better and one is trying to be better.

Running is about determination - personal determination and motivation to do something just for me. If you run for fun, it is just that...there are no medals, no parties at the end of it, just you and your thoughts. There is no special equipment needed, no set times to do it, no need to reserve a place to run - just you and the road, maybe some tunes or perhaps your thoughts, but otherwise it is left up to you.

So why is it that people want to run but dislike running alone? If the alone part of it is hard, then why don't we choose a group sport? I don't have an all encompassing answer - obviously everyone is different, but I can speak from my view point.

Running is a release. It doesn't require much planning, it doesn't require any special training (unless you want to be competitive) and it's easy. Yes, that's right, running is easy. I'm not saying that a marathon is easy, but just getting out and putting one foot in front of the other is easy...baby steps, we've all got to start somewhere. The hard part comes into play day after day, especially when the heat or cold sets in, when the weather conditions are not ideal and it becomes easy to make excuses about how busy we are. The beauty of running is that no matter what...we can still do it-for as little or as long as we like.

Group running - that just brings us together with other people who are like us. Runners are a unique breed and no matter what level they will always encourage you to do it. For me, I may complain about the heat, the humidity, the amount of things I should be doing instead of running, but really I enjoy every minute I'm out there!

Rain, rain - won't you stay?

2008-06-14T18:13:00.000-07:00

Please don't leave ... it's much easier to run when your here than with the heat and humidity when your gone!!

Yes, that is how I felt today - this morning to be exact. I had spent all week gearing myself up for a 2 hr long run this morning. Nope, I didn't have a clue where I was going, I was just going to head out to where ever the road takes me. The weather man (like they know what their talking about) was forcasting rain yesterday and today. There was none yesterday, just some clouds and some humid and very hot mid-south heat. Then last night about 8 it started thundering and lightening and the skys just sort of opened up. Oh yeah..time to cool off.

My first thought was that it would be great to run today, then I thought it might be raining and I'd wait until sunday, but nope, it was wet out, but not raining today when I finally decided to crawl out of bed. I decided I would bribe the kids (and the hubby too) with some donuts...it also doubled as a warm up. I ran over to the donut shop (about 1/2) mile, picked up some goodies and headed back. I quickly dropped them off and out the door I went. It was about 8:30am, a few clouds in the sky and the air wasn't too bad. I thought I had it made. 30 minutes later I rounded a corner and if the clouds didn't part and make way for the sun - yep I could feel the heat around me. It was like an oven and I was the pot roast!

I sucked it up (because at this point there was no turning back) and kept putting one foot in front of the other. I ran by where I work, which doubled as a quick water refueling station, and then headed for home. 2hrs later and a bit of energy lighter I had completed it. I was soaked, red faced and tired, but you know what? I wouldn't change a thing!

Hungry??

2008-06-13T06:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was hills...the dreaded hills. Truth be told, the hills aren't so bad - I actually kind of enjoy the hills. I ran 3 sets of 4 hills and a 1 set of 3 hills with warm up and cool down included it was about 6mi. Tomorrow will be the long run of the week - I'm already dreading having to get up early on a saturday just to go run, but the alternative is running late and that is even more unappealing.

My point today is not so much the actual exercise as it is the hunger (or lack there of) after a work out. During my group trainings, I often here people discussing their eating habits and the need for a light snack after a work out much like yesterday. I hear people talk about how they are ravenous by the time they get home if they don't have some fruit or something. This got me to thinking about my own hunger. I've noticed over the past few weeks/months of running that I rarely am ever 'hungry' after a run. The longer or further I run the less I want food. I am typically thirsty beyond belief, but food...not so much. This goes for fruit or anything else light. I can eat half a bannana after a 6 mi run and it feels like I just put 5 lbs in my stomach.

This is really only the case after a long run at which due to the change in training has been at a slower and more steady aerobic pace as opposed to my faster 5K race pace. I was talking about this with some other runners and it was said that "perhaps my body is still burning my surplus of fat stores and that is why I am not hungry, where as in a race I am burning sugar and my body feels the need to replace this with food."

Hum...run slow, burn fat - run fast, burn sugar and be hungry. Maybe the coach has got a method to his madness after all.

What do you think??

Rain or Shine

2008-06-09T19:17:00.000-07:00

Well I finally made my lazy self get up and get another run in. Yep, you heard me, I fell off the running wagon after last weeks feat! HA Ok, so not really, actually I left town last Thursday and had 'big' plans to get my butt out and run while in Denver, but I quickly realized after walking around...I was not use to the air and got winded. (talk about making a girl feel out of shape?!) So I changed my plans and thought "I'll use the gym" but that didn't happen either. The good news...I did do a 24 mile advanced white water rafting trip that gave me a pretty good work out. Not so much the legs, but I could definitely feel it the next day.

Being back at home today I did the whole 'talk myself up' and work on convincing myself that I was going to run this afternoon (shouldn't be too hard, I usually do monday night training). Problem was that my stepson was arriving today and dad wouldn't be back in time for me to leave and get to the training site so instead I busied myself with getting the house ready and waiting for some relief from the horrible heat. (Yes, I cheated and waited until just after 7pm (after the thunder clouds started to roll in and the news channel issued a massive t-storm warning complete with flooding to go run) I so could have used this as an excuse, I even felt a little sick to my stomach, but I didn't...I ran. Seriously - ok, so I jogged a good 3 miles, drenched from head to toe in sweat, I could feel the heat radiating from my body, but by the time I got home I felt good.

Not just because I killed a few brain cells with the excess heat, but because I got out and ran instead of making an excuse and sticking around the comfort of the ac. This week we are adding in some additional swimming sessions along with the planned running so, we'll see how it goes.

Drowning gnats

2008-06-03T06:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday (since I'm childless this week...thank you grandma) I decided to start my typical monday workout a little earlier than normal. On a typical monday I get to the park about 5:45 and we start about 6:00. That gives me enough time to do some easy jogging and get warmed up before the group runs. Yesterday however, I got to the park about 5 and thought I would jog for about an hour before the rest of the group got there.

Holy crap was it hot! Nope not just hot, but HUMID too. Now, I'm no stranger to heat and humidity, I grew up near the gulf (hell) and have learned to love heat and humidity...I just never ran for hours on end in it. The difference between hell where I grew up and here is that in hell there is air...hot air, but air none the less. Here, there is a thick, heavy, very still oxygen that you suck in when you breath. Needless to say after half an hour in this I was soaked and the poor little gnats that got near me were drowning in the sweat.

By the time everyone else arrived that night and were getting ready by dowsing themselves in off...I was good to go - Bug's just stayed away at that point, too afraid of drowning!

By the end of the night, I had ran a total of about 7.5 miles, done some strength training and stretching. I felt good, I felt 'worked' by the end of it but still not completely drained. This is just the start of the summer heat and I've already learned that the motto is not..."D*mn it's hot" - instead it's become "Heat is my friend...I love the summer heat." (yep keep saying it, eventually you'll convince yourself!)

The hills are alive

2008-05-30T06:50:00.000-07:00

This has been a rough week for me - I have hardly ran at all (even though I knew I should) mentally though, I just couldn't get myself out of the house. Yesterday however was different. Thursday's are 'hill' workout days. There not so much hills as little bumps, but it does essentially do the same thing as larger hills.

The workout is to run sets of 3 or 4 hills and then repeat. Yesterday I ran a three set 4x's. After it was over I felt great. I felt like I had worked up a good sweat but I wasn't exhausted or sore - generally I felt good. This led me to my next concern...am I doing enough or should I keep going?

At the end of a run (workout or other exercise related endevor) I like to feel like I've done as much as I can, I like to feel tired and energy drained. It makes me think I gave it my all and didn't hold back. I gabbed up the coach and he told me that "at this point, I should not feel drained or exhausted. My goal is to burn fat not sugar...sugar burning brings about the tired and drained feeling." Ok, I thought, but still, I feel like I could do more...shouldn't i just keep going?? He quickly told me no, not today.

So what's a girl to do? I want to do more and he promises the day will come when I will be ready to do more at higher intensities, but this is a gradual process and I need to build up to it. I'm not sure I believe him, but I'm still trying his method so we'll see.

On a side note, Saturday will be my first hour + run. I'm not running this for distance as much as it will be for time and endurance. I don't know why this bothers me so much (I've already run for just under an hour and I train for 1 1/2 hours during the week on running days...it just seems like such a "big" amount of time...I find it intimidating. I'll update after to see if I feel anymore "exhausted" and/or "energy drained" at the end of it. Perhaps that is what I need to teach me to enjoy doing what I do now!

Another one bites the dust...

2008-05-23T06:02:00.000-07:00

....and another one down and another one down, another one bites the dust!

Yep that is how I feel right now (cheesy I know). I ran race #4 last night and can honestly say I felt good at the end. Last night was Zoom thru the Zoo 4miler, a bit longer than my usual 5k and I haven't been doing any major running lately so I was a bit nervous. I spent most of the day psyching myself out so that didn't help and I thought I was going to be sick prior to the race (and I want to run a marathon???HA)
Overall time was 47min - not great, but in a effort to do as my coach has requested, I took WAY more walk breaks to try and keep my heart within range.
Here's how it broke down

Mile 1: (9:16 min) I started out good, basically a pretty good jog, nothing fast at all (tried to pace myself). About half a mile into it I felt as if for sure I'd already missed the 1mi marker, there was no way this could be only the first mile. I kept on pushing, debating whether or not I would walk or just keep going. Finally I decided to take a 30sec walk break in an effort to play along with coach Marks training. Of course I still thought I had passed the 1mi marker so it was easier to justify...about a minute later there it was staring me in the face. Hum, is that possible?? My time seems faster than I thought it would be and I'm not moving that fast...maybe I should slow it down.

Mile 2: (21:32) This mile was the hardest of all 4, I felt myself tightening up and keep trying to focus on my breathing which was becoming short and quick. It is usually about here that my sides cramp up and I was trying to breath so this wouldn't happen. The breathing didn't get under control but my sides didn't cramp up either. It was about here that I started letting go of the anxiouty that I started the race with. I focused on breathing and putting one foot in front of the other - this was nothing new to a 5k.

Mile 3: (34:50) I felt like I had hit my groove. I was still taking 30sec walk breaks on a regular basis. This consisted of running 2-3 min with 30sec walk breaks. My muscles seemed to be fairly warmed up, my mind was empty, and I was focused. This mile felt good.

Mile 4: (47:00) It was about here that I thought "I can do this." I don't mean the 4 mi run, but the whole marathon thing. I was hot and sweaty, but generally I felt good. By this time my breathing was undercontrol and it was all about putting one foot in front of the other at this point. Legs and lungs felt good and I seriously thought I could have kept going beyond the finish line.

In the end I was happy to be finished. I am actually not feeling bad at all today from the run and I really think I should up my weekly runs. I realized that the further I run the easier it seems to get (I am finding my groove) and that I am overly nervous to begin the race with. If I focus on my breathing and letting my daily stress go then the run becomes easier (unfortunately it takes a few miles to get this to happen.)

Overall it was a good run - I'm not impressed or thrilled with my time but I tried to do what Coach Mark has asked and if I want his plan to work and I want to succeed at this I have got to try right?

Next race...Gibson Guitar 5k...yippy!

Type A vs. Training

2008-05-20T06:17:00.000-07:00

Patience is a virtue that I do not possess and I believe will prove to be my biggest pitfall in my running success. Why? Because of 2 reasons actually:

1) I see the end goal and focus on getting to that point (I want X tell me how to get there - NOW.)
2) I don't want to take the necessary steps to get there (if that step requires time) I want to know what I can do to get there in my own time frame (once again, NOW)

I have officially signed & paid for a coach to help prepare me for my upcoming Marathon. I did a couple of trial runs with the coach to see if I thought we would be a good fit and if I liked his style of training (of which I did) and decided to make this a more permanent thing. Afterwards, I was chatting with the coach about goals, training techniques, etc and I realized that we have different views. I'm not saying one is right and one is wrong (although it's been said that mine are closer to wrong) I just believe that I should be able to get from A to C and not necessarily have to go thru B.

Case and Point
I will be running the St. Jude Marathon in Memphis in December '08. This will be the first marathon I've ever attempted (hopefully not the last) and in the planning phase of this process I started doing massive research on marathons, training techniques, personal experiences of others, comments on the specific marathon etc. I have loaded my brain down with LOTS of information. My goals for this race are not only to complete it, but to complete it within 4 - 4.5 hrs. I've given myself 6 months to train and am willing to take the necessary steps to achieve this goal.

My coach has other ideas.

No time goals for 1st marathon (complete it then set time goals for next)
aerobic training (endurance) - not anaerobic training (speed) which translates into training for a marathon and not doing monthly 5k's. 3-no race challenges (I had planned to participate in a circuit run which consisted of each 5k, 5mi, 10k, 10mi, half marathon from July-November that he says will interfere with my training.)

My thoughts were simple - if I know what I want and I pay you then I am expecting to be told how to achieve my goals, not told that I only need to be running 3 days a week and my first goal should be to complete a marathon...SERIOUSLY?? I don't want to just complete it, I want to strive for something more...why can't I?

As posted before, the hub is well versed in coaching/training/exercise so I went to him to whine about not getting what I want and you know what...the hub totally backed up the coach. Talk about surprised (not that I didn't think the coach was right, but the hub wasn't keen on me having a coach) so now it is no longer me against the coach but now I am against the coach and the hub.

To be coach you have to be willing to be trainable and I agreed to try and be trainable. By default, my nature is to make nice and do what I want anyhow, but I really want to attain this goal so I think my best bet is to listen, no matter how difficult this may be. Only time and proper training will tell if the end result is what I want and I'll never get there if I don't start somewhere so I guess it all begins here.

Slacker is Me

2008-05-15T12:14:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I've been avoiding this week. I don't know what happened really, it was like I was revved up at full speed ahead, had it all mapped out and then "bam" I came crashing to a halt.

Monday I met with a new running group "MIM" and did some sculpting techniques, some short form runs and a few short tempo'd runs. The coach [Mark] provided some good insight and suggestions on what I need to do/change to help my running. It seems that in the past few months I had been training 'anerobically' as opposed to aerobically. Per his suggestion I need to get a heart rate monitor and work on staying in my 'zone.' Simple terms...I need to walk/run/walk/run and build on this instead of run, run, push some more and just try to get thru it.

It's not hard to see that over the past few months I've been without any real direction in my running...my main focus has been to run 5k's and get to where I run at the top of my group. In my own 'untrained' way I've gotten myself this far but I know I'm going to need help going the marathon distance. I really enjoyed monday night's run, I felt worked, but not over-worked. The problem was tuesday (and each day subsequent since) that I've felt like the life has been sucked out of me. I've made the plans to go but as soon as I get home and get changed ... I just get so tired and don't ever leave. Even the hub has commented on it.

Today is hill's training with MIM unfortunately I do not get to run with them today due to a change in M's soccer practice. Nothing scheduled for this weekend so instead I will start preping myself for monday night's run with MIM. Good news is that I'm on the books for Zoom thru the Zoo (4 miler) next thursday, so you can bet I'll be getting back to the pavement soon. (Probably about the time the gray clouds and rain disappear.)

I've got to start somewhere if I'm ever going to get this thing off the ground - right?

Update

2008-05-08T18:05:00.000-07:00

***Update to previous post***

Race results finally posted...I came in #4 in the last race! Yippy...ok so I was 4 min behind 3rd place and roughly 4 min ahead of 5th place so.....need to work on it, but still excited!

As for running this week...nope. I had planned to start running with the MIM group this week, however it was late monday when I got the email and today I am recovering from yesterday's pump it up party. I totally landed on my foot the wrong way and I've been limping around all day. I'm hoping that by monday I'll be back to normal and head out to run with them.

Yes, I need to get back to running while I still have the momentum from my last race. I don't have another race planned for a bit so I have time to get some good runs in.
~K

Race #3

2008-05-04T19:07:00.000-07:00

Today I ran for Breast cancer research and awareness. I felt good running for this cause, I however did not have any heart in it. I don't know what happened, but last night I lost my drive to run this weekend. I was geared up for it all week, last night-not so much. I thought maybe I was tired and today would be better, but instead I struggled to get out of bed early this morning. I made it to the race, I got ready but all I kept thinking about as I waited for the race to start was how 'alone' I felt. In a place where I was surrounded by people all doing the same thing I was, I had no one to talk to, no one to motivate me or vice versa.

Running is an individual sport, but today it felt like an isolated sport. I guess what it boils down to is that I didn't run much this past week (1 day), my head was full of other thoughts and I've been wanting a running partner for some time now. Funny thing is I started back to running because it was something I could do that didn't require other people. Go figure how it would turn out!

Good news is that I ran another 34 min run today. As I said earlier my heart wasn't into it so I did more walking than last time which only gives me hope that I can bring that time down to closer to where I want to be...just step one foot in front of the others.

Update

2008-05-01T19:55:00.000-07:00

Just an update to the previous post...I found out that I ranked 1st in my age division in the last 5K. YippY! I am thrilled beyond belief...not only did I take time off my run, but I also ranked in the top of my division.

How's that for motivation...I've already signed up for #3 and I'm totally motivated for marathon training!

Go Me

One more down

2008-04-27T15:08:00.000-07:00

Today was another 5K for me. Number 2 actually for this year and I can say that I am SO excited and thrilled and fueled. It was a pretty crappy day...it has been gray, rainy and about 60 degrees outside. I decided that it probably was the best of days to get the girls out for a race so instead I went at this one alone.

It was odd. I felt very alone and almost out of place even though we were all there to run. I did a few stretches and then went for a quick run down the block and back - I noticed it seemed easy and my only thought was, wow...it's usually harder than this to get going. I generally struggle with the start of my runs. I don't know if I'm not stretched out enough or if it just takes me a bit to get into the groove, but today it wasn't like that.

The group heads for the start line and I follow. It's not a downpour, but it is steady rain. It's cool but it doesn't feel that bad...I think my lungs are probably going to burn after I start running, but I'll deal with that when I get to it.

Horn goes off and we are start the run. I round the first corner and start to head uphill...its a slight incline, nothing major, but this is my first 'encouraging pep talk.' (The crazy lady is at it again) Run, Run, Run...I hang in there for the first mile no stop. I hit the 1 mi marker and walk for about 30 sec, run run run mile 2 is a mix of running and walking, mostly running but a few 30 sec walks too. I'm finally heading into mile 3 and its all done but the crying.

At this point I'm soaking wet, my pants are sticking to me, my hat is dripping, my jacket is soaked, my shoes have been thru too many puddles to count and I'm starting to feel the cold. I've traded places with a guy in front of me a few times and it's here he finally starts to slow. I run along side and encourage him on...almost there, you can do it, come on! He's at it again as we fall into step to run the final bit.

We pass the last of the police lights, step up to marker 3 and start to pick up the pace. I don't have nearly the 'umph' left in me after this race that I had at the last one, but I've still got some left to give, so I kick it up a bit. I'm looking down the way, watching the time tick off when i realize we just crossed the 34 min mark. What?! Yep, that's right...I kick up with whatever I have left because by god, I'm going to cross that line before we hit 35min and I succeed.

In the end I crossed the line at 34.45 just 2 min under my last time of 36.59. I'm exhilarated (considering I didn't do much running this week) It may not be the best of times, but for me, it's just a reminder that we continued effort I can get to where I want to be.

Running Oaf

2008-04-22T12:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the first day I ventured to an actual track to do some running. My normal runs consist of running thru the neighborhood, up and down the streets and enjoying the change of scenery as I progress closer to my intended goal. However, yesterday I decided to try something different.

Once upon a time I was a runner - one who enjoyed it each and every step of the way. It came easily, it was a natural ability, I was good at it, but yesterday it was a different story. Yesterday, it was hard, staring at those little white lines was sad, each step I took was heavy, I felt clumsy and out of place. I did not enjoy it in the least.

I don't know if it was because I wasn't really in the mood or if it was something about running on the track in the same circle, but it definitely wasn't something I want to repeat anytime soon. What intrigues me most is that once upon a time, I enjoyed this form of running and somewhere along the way I forgot how to. When did it become something so difficult and cumbersome as opposed to something light and natural?

I believe this is a mental block that I need to get past, a mental block that I am work on removing one step at a time!

On the Road again....

2008-04-16T19:11:00.000-07:00

Yep it's that song, but it's also what I've been doing. I'm making a conscious effort to run each day, get out and be physical and do what I can to improve on my times (at least on my endurance).

Monday I made it to the pavement and did 1.3 mi, not much but it was something. It was a pretty cold day out and I was suprised on how good it actually felt to be running.

My thoughts for this week were that I would gradually increase my distance. I went out this weekend and maped out a few routes with different distances so hopefully this will help.

Tuesday, I wanted to make it out, but I didn't. Soccer practice for my daughter came up (normally on Friday) so instead I went and kicked/chased the ball with the hub for about 30 min. Not the same as a run but I wasn't completely a bum.

Wednesday, I ran 2 laps today (each is about 1.3 mi around the area) so I did 2.5 mi total. It was slow at first and while my brain didn't need coercing my legs sure did. My sides cramped up and my lungs burned but by the second lap around (I hurt) but it did get a bit easier.

Mentally I am enjoying this more than physically. The air has been chilled when I run and I feel as if I have a smokers cough after I get finished. I'm sure this will get better with time and training, but it sure isn't fun now!

Scheduling another one

2008-04-11T15:08:00.000-07:00

Today I took the next step after my hurdle and scheduled my next race. Yippy! I am convinced I am going to succeed at this, it may kill me somewhere along the way, but otherwise I will see the finish line.

Ok, so my next run is going to be the "Education That Works Out" 5K. I am excited (can you tell?) It's still a couple weeks away, but I am trying to schedule my races on sunday -soccer games on Sat and practices are on Fridays-it's enough to make me wonder "why did I sign up for this mess?" (not really)

I've also decided to head to the track for Tuesday workout sessions with a running coach. This little bit is intimidating. It's been, what feels like a lifetime, since I really put effort into running and here I am looking down that path again. My quitting running is a story for another day, but I've learned a few lessons and hopefully they'll keep me on the right path this time.

The First Hurdle

2008-04-08T10:47:00.000-07:00

The first hurdle in the road to success is beginning the project. I say this because so many times I say (and hear from others) that if I could just find the time to get started or I'll start this tomorrow, which inevitably gets prolonged until...forever. What I am most amazed at is that it is usually the projects I have only a half-hearted interest in that end up in this realm of my life, the other ones, the ones I really want to do, well they get started, just not always finished.

So the first hurdle for me, also the biggest, is acting on my desire to succeed. If I stop putting off until tomorrow what needs to be done today, I will be that much closer to my goal and one step closer to doing what I want to be doing.

This weekend was my 1st hurdle. I have been talking about 5k's for some time now and have been half-heartedly working out when I finally said 2 weeks ago that I was going to suck it up and just go for it. I signed up for the 2nd annual Daffodile Dash with the hopes of completing it under 40min. Yes, I know, that is quite a bit of time but I am factoring my post-baby body and lack of proper nutrition as well as lack of exercise (of any real value). Not to mention that I ran this race last year (with the same hopes in mind) and completed the race in 36min.

Sunday arrives and I get ready, a little nervous, but not bad. Once the race starts I hit play on my iPod and take the first few steps...not too bad, I can do this. about 6 min into the race my lungs start burning. Yep, it's definately gonna hurt today. Step after step, I keep telling myself I am that much closer to the finish line and I'll be better for it. Mile 1 gone, keep running, Mile 2 gone, just keep going, almost done now. I round the corner and head back into the park for the last mile. People are everywhere and I'm tired, but I'm also exhilarated by the idea that I am almost finished, I've almost completed the race. Mile 3 done, nothing left but the line...I can see it from here and somewhere inside I found the energy to run. Run faster than I did any of the other miles. I cross the line 36:59. I'm done.

Lessons Learned --
1) Once you start it's not so bad
2) I need to set better expectations of myself (40 v. 36)
3) Working out does not = good conditioning, working out right does.
4) My daughter ran her first 1mi fun run...excuses does not a good example make, but by taking the first hurdle head on, I know now the rest can't be far behind.

Getting back to it

2008-04-01T13:06:00.000-07:00

It's been just under a month since I posted here, yeah I've been slacking and it shows. Yesterday I finally decided to hit the pavement and get some 'outside' running in. This was motivated largely in part to the upcoming 5K (sunday) that I have scheduled for myself.

Is it a little extreme...perhaps. Would I have been motivated without it...perhaps not. I have been in such a rut that I thought my only way out was to schedule a 5K and make me get off my rear. It is working so far, I hit the road yesterday for a 'quick' jog to see how my legs and lungs would hold up in the fresh air. Not too bad, it was rainy and overcast, about 70ish, no problem. My first 4 minutes into the run, I thought my lungs were going to burst, the burn set in and I could do was tell myself it would ease up if I just gave it time. It did and I continued. I walked a bit to let my lungs recover and after about 12min into the run my legs decided they were going to turn to jello and start their burn. Once again...push thru, just push thru. I made it back home, it ended up being about 20-30 min run, not sure how far because I just ran until I was ready to stop, but I am pretty satisified with the time.

I made it home and managed to do a bit of arm weights, leg lifts, abs etc. I didn't die and even though my lungs still have a slight 'twinge' when I breath, I feel good. I actually feel invigorated to know that I am running this weekend. Scared that it will kick my butt - of course, but happy to have the opportunity.

Struggling

2008-03-12T12:50:00.000-07:00

In short and simple...I'm just not that into it right now. That is the exercise/weight/train/run thing. I still have high hopes and lofty ambitions but the drive is gone and my motivation ... well that has flown the coop to.

My hub called today with the results of his physical and while he is in good health the doctor says he needs to eat more fish = less red meat and more greens. With winter being here, I turn to cooking more red meat and chicken and less salad stuff. Granted we have fairly balanced meals meats/veggies/bread, we don't eat much sea food. By the time spring comes around we are ready for the later evenings, more outside food (i.e. grilling) and plenty more salad inventions. With the boost of sunlight and warm weather we become more active and it generally evens out.

I guess with this news and my lack of energy we will be starting the trend early. I guess I will be starting my search for fun and exciting recipies now and hopefully things will get back on track.

Keeping my fingers crossed!!!

Not a quitter...

2008-03-05T18:38:00.000-08:00

Well today is a down day. I made it home from work today just exhausted. It's wednesday, typically my day to do step, however I decided to just head home and hit the treadmill. Not sure why today is so exhausting, maybe I just hit a low point mid-afternoon because all of the sudden I was tired and I hadn't been all day.

Anyhow, I got home and spent some time with my kids trying to work up the energy (convience myself) to get on the treadmill. 45 minutes later I made myself start walking. 2 miles later I'm still tired and the kids need me so I stop. Truth be told, I struggled to walk the second mile, want to quit but I didn't. I didn't make my goal of 3 miles today but hopefully tomorrow will be better. I did manage to walk 3mi yesterday so I'm happy with the progress.

This is my start to focusing on exercising...the diet hasn't been great (I had 3 cokes today) and nothing diet...why, well not really sure, could blame it on hormones, but I guess basically it's just because I'm tired and drinking a dr. pepper or having dessert makes me feel better. We'll see if tomorrow is any better than today.

The mirror lies...

2008-03-04T12:09:00.000-08:00

Who is this person starring back at me each day I look in the mirror? Obviously it cannot be me, at least not the me I see in the photographs hanging from my wall...or can it? Is it really possible to see the me that I would like to be without actually seeing me for who I am and what I really look like?

I am 3mths post baby today and I am 6lbs from my pre-baby weight. I feel like I am moving in the right direction each time I step on the scale and notice it has dropped, I look in the mirror (fully dressed) and think, yep, making progress-looking better, I even notice each time I put on something from my closet and it fits a little looser, yet when I look at the photos hanging on my wall, drop by to pick up the professional pics of me and my baby, or even take a quick snap with the digital camera to update a profile pic I notice the excess "chub" around my face or my mid section.

I started taking a step aerobics class at least once a week (shooting for 2x a week just don't always make it) and when I look at myself in the full length mirrors while wearing an oversized T-shirt I think "yeah, I don't look that bad at all" - but the next time I get to class and I am actually wearing a 'form fitting' aerobic outfit I think "ewe, that isn't supposed to jiggle like that."

So which is it...flabby fattie or fake front? Perhaps both, I'm inclined to believe the photos as the real deal only because my mental perception cannot play tricks on those images. Maybe that is why I have only half heartedly been putting effort in with regards to by workout regeme. I know I need to push myself but sometimes I believe I'm already making strides so if I slip it's ok - not entirely true when I look at the photos.

Today is a new day and I've decided that the mirrors lie and that I need to focus on the me I want to be...I am going to use these to my advantage in order to keep alive the vision of "what I want to look like" and then I'll use the photos as a guide to see how close I've gotten or how far I still need to go.

I will get there, it's not going to be easy, but I will get there!

The end is near...

2007-11-06T10:42:00.000-08:00

Almost 9 months ago I started this blog as a way for me to express myself while I attempted to get back into running. My goals were simple, I wanted to run some 5Ks and ultimately after about 6 months I had planned to enter the St. Jude half marathon. Perhaps I had high hopes, perhaps not so much, but what I wasn't expecting is the birth of another child.

Yep, thats right, another baby. I did manage to train and make it thru a 5K meeting the beginner goals I had set for myself and I came away feeling exhilarated, rejuvinated, like there wasn't much I couldn't do. Funny thing was shortly there after, I found myself feeling as if I'd been run over by a MAC truck. I was seriously down for the count and thought I had just caught a horrible case of the flu. Eventually I got to the point I had to go to the Dr. and they "enlightened" me to the new bundle of joy who would be arriving later this year. I was excited by the news, but at the same time I was saddened by the idea that I would not be able to run like I had planned.

Because of complications with my first pregnancy I was concerned with issues so I walked and did minimal exercise in the beginning and now I am just waiting for the end. I feel disheartened by the approaching St. Jude Marathon--I really wanted to be apart of this, unfortunately my baby is due within a few weeks of it so, I don't think it is quite going to happen (wink wink).
Anyhow, looking back at the first post I still feel that excitement, but for a different reason. I am happy about our new addition to the family, but I am also happy that the countdown to the delivery has begun so I can once again look forward to the feel of running.

Beginner...again

2007-03-30T17:13:00.000-07:00

Well this is day one of my running blog. I "blog around" most of the time but recently have dedicated myself to running and thought it might be a good idea to mark my pace and hopefully keep me on track.

I am not new to running all together...it is something that I was good at and thoroughly enjoyed growing up. I participated in track and field through out school and even enjoyed it for about a year following. Sometime after that however I found myself (as I so often hear) with a lack of time to continue and so it was put by the way side. Work had taken so much of my time that we I wasn't working I was exhausted. Eventually I moved to california and found running to be a great way to replenish my soul and invigorate my spirit. There was just something incredible about running along the pacific ocean, wind in my face, the sound of waves crashing behind that could rejuvinate my body and cleanse my mind. It left me with a sense of overwhelming power...like nothing was out of my grasp. In the end however the time came for me to move and so it was all left behind.

Fast forward a few too many years and one child later...I find myself searching for that same feeling and oddly enough turning to the one source I have always been able to find it--RUNNING! Yes that is correct, running is one thing that I can do for me...when everything else in my life seems to be out of control, running make it all seem miles away. The difference between today and what used to be is that running is no longer something I take forgranted. It is not easy, but it is rewarding. I still work a full week and now I have to juggle my family life too but I am finding that running is still my passion.

As for the beginning...again part that would be my first 5K in three years. I will admit that the cold weather kind of put a dampener on my running plans because I don't like the cold. I attempted to run on the treadmill and thought I was doing ok...but my first day back outside was...very unlike the treadmill. Needless to say, unless it is raining, I haven't ventured back indoors. Ultimately I joined the local runners club (as a way to motivate myself) and signed up for my 1st 5K to ensure that I did it. This past weekend was it...the Daffodil Dash and I succeeded in accomplishing my goals.

1) Survive/finish the race (check)
2) Complete race in 36min or less (check, 36min flat)

Yes, I know the goals were a little small for a 5K but hey what can I say...I was trying to be realistic. So yes I achieved them. I finished the race and I did it in 36 minutes on-the-dot. Now that being my starting point I am shooting for a decrease in time by 10 minutes over the course of the summer and I have hopes to run the St. Judes Half marathon in December. It seems like a crazy goal...a little far fetched in my mind, but I think there is plenty of time to train for it and pull it off. I am positive I can do and so over the course of the next few months we will see how close I get.

The lyrics to a song by Gavin DeGraw sum it all up for me...
Oh, this is the start of something good
Don't you agree?

~K